In the last week I’ve received 5 anonymous messages scribbled on a banana.  They started out harmless enough: hi Tony, what up dog?

Then by Wednesday, the author asked me for money.  He/she requested 35 clams.  On Thursday, the banana read: where is my cash?  This morning, the appeal had increased to 35.99.  

I don’t think I can afford to be friends with this banana ruffian.  After all, I’ve always felt bananas as a tender affable fruit.  Why would this hooligan associate himself w/ such a friendly fruit?  If he had sent me messages on a watermelon (or any melon) then I might understand his logic.

I think tonight I’ll put $27.00 in a banana peel outside my door & see what kind of reaction I get.

I’m off to the market. Do you want me to pick you up anything?

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Have a fun weekend!

Love that photo>thanks

I received this odd letter from my friend Scarlet. Enjoy

Hello all,
 It's been awhile since I last 'blurped' thanks to TUMS....(excuse me) Ha!  Today is a miraculous day!  I've been doing research on the Giant UFO in my back yard and conversing w/ the occupants.....wow!    I realize that I haven't been putting a lot of effort into getting the small beings out of my yard, believe me it's not just because I’m sexually attracted to these small, shiny beings.....Ha!  We all go through waves and phases in our lives and I must say that it is totally normal to feel a certain attraction to their dense gray membranes.....I've been doing a lot of studying of their scrotum and soul searching the swelling involved in their fluorescent sacs.  It has been quite an adventure so far......  Ha! I just realized that the last 4 letters in “scroTUMS” is “TUMS”… Ha! I've been trying my hand at writing some porn but based on personal experience....it's all good  These little space aliens can go for hours.  If I could only convince Noel to put it on You-Tube. Ha!

Right now I'm smoking a big fat  Blunt....I really like it and would love to sit down and have a cup of coffee or a glass of wine while enjoying a bowl of HASHISH.  Ha! HAshish, get it?  I’m so clever when I’m wasted.  The human spirit is an amazing thing!  Thank the Good Lord for that!  I've been faced with some interesting issues lately.....life's work....my philosophy on various issues....such as giving Noel’s boyfriend (Josh) a lap dance.  It's amazing to me to see a young man’s eyes light up when I place my flat bony ass on their knees...... this has been my role in life as a mother & a musician & a poet.  I am being placed in a different arena of life......It's exciting!  I'm really taking a closer look at so many things.....I could be a gravedigger.  Last year I buried Noel’s last boyfriend (Simon) in the backyard (right under the UFO).....I loved it!  By the way, the switchblade was not ours. 

I'm learning to take a new 'Breath'.  My pace is determined by my pacemaker......bought one on E-Bay last year & installed it myself!  I went through a gamut of emotions - all the way from depression to elation!  Haven't we all after installing our own pacemakers?!    I've been walking through graveyards & speaking to the spirits seeping from the headstones.  Observing the ghosts actions.....(always observing) ..... taking  time....there is that word that I talk about so much.....'Time'...it is so valuable...take it, make it, wake it, fake it, naked, easy bake it, but don't break it!  .......it's fragile......get the extra Polar Bear insurance just in case.
 Took a little trip down to my roots this Summer, I became aware that my hair is not actually beet colored. Noel and Josh (her boyfriend) were my witnesses ....we did a little sightseeing through my scalp .....it was great!  It sure is beautiful among my bright red tresses.  My hair reminds me of where I came from!  I love the scenery down there!  I walked the trails at Elephant Turds and climbed on the huge granite penis shaped boulders.....I think that was so much fun! ......My kinda place!  Ha!  I always try to stop there when we are down that way!  It is full of antiques too....I love old things, Old cars, Old Spice, old tampons, and especially old men.  Old men have a history -- I love that!  I love old buildings, homes and architecture.  That is why I loved New Orleans when I went there years ago.  It was full of old hookers & old drag queens.....it was part of my Senior trip from high school......that was a fun trip....Galveston Texas, Jackson Mississippi, etc.....a southern trip......I was all of 17!    I loved New Orleans the most!  Back then you could get yourself an old hooker for 15 clams! Ha! (no wonder I've had cavities! - ha!).... Well looks like it might rain, and I've got some sitting on my old antique chairs out on the deck I've got to put away just in case we get a case of the monsoons...Been nice chatting with you all once again and hope you enjoyed my part of the conversation.....till next time remember......although you don't always hear from me don't think I'm unreachable......I'm OLD FAITHFUL. Love to you,
Scarlet