How do you know? I am at a hard point in my life right now. I am 30 years old and I've been in love once, but it didn't work out. He wanted to live in the north and I wanted more from life as well as my own career. I wasn't going to be like everyone else. Barefoot and pregnant planning each meal at dinner time for the rest of my life. I wanted to but bread on the table too. I still love him and he does me, but we realized we wanted very different things out of life.
Now for some reason that I can explain, I have become more aware of different sexual preferences and I have many friends from my current work envirionment that have introduced me to the "other" side. They like to joke and call it that. I wasn't a homophob by no means, but I just wasn't exposed to it. Really to me it's nothing different. This has caused me to think now though. I have been thinking about my relationships with friends here and now and friends from the past. I think as far back as middle school. I had this admiration for my basketball coach, but now I think it was more than that. I think that I had a crush on her. Then I had friends Courtney, Sarah and Christi. They all had boyfriends at the time, but I was jealous of them spending time with them. I wasn't jealous that they had boyfriends because I wanted one, I was jealous because I wanted them. Same thing when I moved to Florida. I thought I was upset when we would drift apart because I wanted a best friend, but I really wanted a committed relationship. I was searching for this and I am still searching for this with straight people and becoming frustrated more and more each time. I do have a serious problem. If I am in fact gay, I have a problem with that. I am not afraid of being myself with society, but I do around my family. I know that I am not the only one that feels this way. I just feel it is easier with society because it is easier for other orientations to get by, it's becoming no big deal, but in my family I would be an outcast. I am going to take them into consideration, but it is I feel time for me to find happiness. I really just want a best friend and companion that I know will be in it for the long haul. I am not interested in meeting person after person and game playing. I want the real deal. Sexually I am attracted to both men and women for different reasons. Emotionally and relationship I would be more likely to be with a woman for what I am looking for in a relationship.
I guess I want to know or hear your stories I how you first discovered you were gay. I need help on finding places to meet bi-curious or bi-sexual people. They don't exactly advertise it unless on dating sites. I wanted something more intimate at first.
Any tips or information to help me through this time would be greatly appreciated.
